Belly laughs

Congratulations Kim--I am very happy for you and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother!
I must admit that I wished away the first several months of babyhood with twins--my heart would race when I was alone with them and I could not quite catch my breadth. But right about the time I saw the first smiles, then even some full belly laughs that we all shared, I began to feel the fog lift. I'm wishing you many smiles and chortles too.

Love,
Mogs

Congratulations!

Hey Kim and Jason,

Congratulations! Hope you enjoy the fun journey of parenthood! You will both be great parents – without a doubt! While not a parent, I have seen my brother and sister-in-law go through the transition to parenthood, and I asked them for tips to pass along. They did not have many but did say that two things help…. Be extremely patient and have a sense of humor! They have enjoyed how parenthood allows you to be a kid again in some ways – whether it is waking up early for Saturday morning cartoons, generally goofing around or visits to the local zoo, aquarium and parks. I hope you both get to enjoy a return to the joys of childhood too with the arrival of your baby. Please send pics of the baby when you can!!

Cheers,
Mahita

Be There! Really There in Every Little Moment.

Hi Guys!

I am so thrilled for you. I really, honestly believe that becoming a parent is the most important thing that I have done with my life. It is amazing how so many very critical opinions and priorities in your universe can shift so quickly.

So, back to being there. . .

I guess it seems to me that we (society, thirty-somethings, Duel-Income-No-Kids folks) have a tendency to focus on the next step, our next milestone, keeping all the very important life goals in place.

Well, with these little babies it is so easy to wish away every simple daily enjoyment, moment, observance waiting for the next stage. . .infancy is so fleeting. . .okay it will feel like eternity at 3 a.m. with a crying baby. . .but it is so fast. So, hold your little girl as much as you want. Watch her sleep for hours. Rock her, cuddle her, snuggle her, nap with her. It is gone in a flash. She will eventually sleep through the night, roll over, crawl, get a tooth, babble, talk. . .don't push it, enjoy the unfolding and learning of this new little creature.

You as the parent will know when she needs to cry a little longer, or move from two to one naps, or whether she really is teething this time. I know it seems impossible right now, but you will know, or you'll at least know when to ask for help & advice from those who have gone before you.

Now, the practical advice:

1. Breastfeeding is really hard to get going! Stick with it if you can, it is amazing and super convenient. Find a support group, with nurses if possible. Ask your nurse in recovery about "soothies" pads, and lansinoh makes the best breast pads if you leak. Buy some.

2. Talk and share with those around you. Parents with kids older than you have so many ideas and techniques that really help. I find those with kids one to two years older have the most relevant ideas and most accurate memories of what works.

3. Sleep whenever you can. Really, sleep. I think sleep deprivation is the hardest part. I have a colleague who made a deal with his wife that nothing they say to each other between the hours of midnight and six a.m. can be used against them. That is really, really good idea!

4. Your house will not stay dirty forever. A child will only sleep on another human being for a short period of time. A baby sleeping on your chest is one of life's most satisfying feelings. I'm getting teary just writing about it.

5. Don't obsess about your delivery. Educate yourself. Surround yourself with the best doctors and nurses, and know that the most important thing is going home with a healthy baby, not having someones idea of the perfect birth. It is one of the many lessons you learn in how little control you have on the minutiae in this next phase of your life. The cool thing is, that relaxing on the control front, gives you so much freedom to enjoy the little surprises that come along.

6. Accept all and any offers of help. Let someone else do your laundry, or change your sheets, or clean your bathroom, or make you dinner. Really. If they offer, say yes. People will come over, you will feel the need to entertain them. Don't. Let them wait on you. Really. Assuage your guilt by reminding yourself that they really want to see your baby girl, not you. Reality check, no one actually wants to see you for at least the next twelve months. They just tolerate you, so they can hold the baby. Sad, but really!

Dave and I are so happy for you. We love you, and wish you the best of luck as you start this amazing journey. Welcome to the club. The love you have for your child is a selfless, pure, achingly, sweet thing. You just don't get it, until you get one of your own.

Hugs.

Jocelyn

Little Happy Dance

Dear Kim,

Congratulations! I was glad to get to see you glowing in the picture up on your blog. I know you may not have felt as if you were glowing, but that maternal glow is definitely there. John and I are so happy for you and Jason. We know that you will be wonderful parents. We can tell that Jasmine is quite smart already in her choice for you guys to guide her through the world.

I know that the uncertainty of labor and of life beyond the big birth event can be a little scary. For me it was the fact that so many things were out of my control. I sought a lot of advice when faced with some of the early challenges of parenthood, but I came to realize that for me, parenting is a long path of trial and error. John and I are still finding out what works for us, but I am sure that something different will work for the three of you. So I don't want to give any advice. I just want to say how excited I am that you guys are embarking on this great journey of discovery. It is so magical to rediscover the world alongside your little one!

I am sure that Cameron will be glad to meet Jasmine later on. He does a little happy dance when he greets little girls!

So, we are all doing our little happy dance here in the big apple for you guys!

Love,
Katie

Say "Cheese"

I am so excited for you & Jason on the arrival of Jasmine. I can't wait to see pictures of your angel that will be arriving in a few months. It is going to be an exciting & also anxious time in the last stages of your pregnancy but, once you look into your daughter's eyes the day of your delivery you are going to forget everything that you have just gone through or felt during your nine months of pregnancy. You will hear alot of advice on how to's but, as a mother you instinctively know what is best or will be best for your baby.

Always have your baby's recorder book handy & a camera even closer. You will always want to record any little noise, face expression, step, anything that you want to remember. Your heart is going to fill with just so much love when you get that first tight sqeezing hug around your neck from Jasmine, or when you hear for the first time "I wov you mommy & dada", or witness her first step. Each stage of Jasmine's life is so precious that you are going to want to record everything. I now I used to write all the time that I ran out of space in Joshua's & Brandi's baby books that I have envelopes filled with line paper.

I wish you & Jason all the love, happiness & blessings that children bring not only to their parents but also to their families & extended families. Please send lots of pictures of your beautiful precious daughter. Have a wonderful baby shower. Enjoy your day.

All my Love,
Cousin Chris

PS: Kudo's to you Allison for a wonderful job of this blog...Thank you

My Vast Experience With Infants

Hey Scoob and Jason,

I can't tell you how very excited I am for you and your little girl. I can't wait to meet her and FYI I'll be on the West Coast (LA) in Nov. so I look forward to meeting her then. As you know, as an only child I've been around children all my life! Actually, I have a new little boy myself but he's a furry black and tan toy spaniel named Monty and he is the alpha dog in the household. But, back to babies, my only experience with infants has been traveling with them on planes and Allison said you were looking for advice/wisdom for new parents so here's a little something I found online about traveling on planes with little ones. Maybe you'll find this useful when you travel to see the grandparents and cousins in Texas.

Are you and your little ones flying the friendly skies anyt time soon?

Keep them friendly by helping your children's eustachian tubes (which drain the middle ear) stay open as teh plane lifts off and lands. How? For babies, nursing or sucking on a pacifier or bottle during ascents and descents does the trick, and chewing a piece of gum (or rawhide in Monty's case) works for most children. This eases discomfort by equalizing pressure in the ears, explains pediatrician Christopher Ryder in his book Take Your Pediatrician with You.

All my love and best wishes for a wonderful final trimester and birth!

Ang

Savor This Special Time

Hi Kim (& Jason),

Congratulation and best wishes to you and Jason! I'm sure it's hard to believe that your precious Jasmine will be with you both soon. Enjoy and savor every moment because it seems like the other day Steve and I were welcoming Amanda into the world and then two years later the addition of Steven.

Now, we are preparing to send Amanda (a.k.a. the Squeaker) off to college. We can't believe this time has come. How did this happen??!! We started to look back and reminisce…Steve's memories somehow differ from mine…He recalls many sleepless nights, I recall hearing him snore, because I’m wide awake breastfeeding this tiny little angel. He recalls changing many dirty and smelly diapers, I recall him trying to change a diaper, but his retching/gagging got the best of me; therefore, I completed the task. He recalls my first Mom’s Get Away, and how much work it was for him, I recall coming home to a daughter wearing a diaper; however, she had been out of them for months. The stories could go on and on…yet we both concur, the birth of our children has blessed us in every way.

Again, congratulations and best wishes to you both!!!

All our love,
Cousin Linda, Steve, Amanda & Steven

P.S. Allison, kudos to you for creating this wonderful BLOG. Also, congratulations to you and Jeff with the news of another beautiful addition to your family.

Warm Fuzzies

The collective wisdom and lots of love is gathering here... I can't wait to share this blog with Kim. Thank you, ladies. We'll be sure to get some snaps of Kim's reaction and share them here.

*****

I was thinking today about when I was a little girl, still young enough to frequently hold hands with my mother. I recall that I liked to look at her hand holding mine. Her hand seemed so beautiful and capable next to my small, soft child's hand.

Sometimes when I am holding hands with Anna or Sophie, I look down and notice the same contrast. I am always struck that now the beautiful and capable hand is mine.

Enjoy the amazing role you have to play in nurturing your daughter, Kim.

Allison

Children Are A Blessing

Hi Kimmie,

Congratulations! Karen here from Massachusetts. What a wonderful and
precious time for you and your husband. A lot of changes, but it's all good, believe it or not. I'll just pass on the advice my mother-in-law gave me and it worked: "A lot of people are going to come to you with advice on having children, raising children and such. Take in the good and throw away the bad. Each day will be different - remember the joyous and learn from
the tough. Children are a blessing from God."

Love, Karen

*****
A new home for Mom, no cleanup required. All starts here.

http://www.reallivemoms.com/?ocid=TXT_TAGHM&loc=us

Enjoy Every Moment

Hi Kim,
Congratulation and Best of Luck to both you and Jason! The excitement, I'm sure, is building as your due date nears. I can only speak from my experiences. They were both wonderful pregnancies and deliveries! The incredible feeling of joy and love shared between you and your husband which has grown into this beautiful, little life is amazing! The feeling of movements, hearing the baby's heartbeat or seeing your baby on ultrasound is truly a miracle! I loved being pregnant! I hope you can say the same. Then once you hold your baby in your arms, life seems so different. You need not worry about mothering skills..............we had the best role models with Nani and Auntie Vi! You will be excellent, I'm sure! Mother's are not born, they are made!!! Treasure every stage that comes and goes. Just be sure to keep a camera on you at all times to catch that first step, hilarious facial expression, great pose or memorable first word (s)! It brings back such great memories! I can't believe we are at the point of looking into colleges now!!! We have TWO graduations next year. Branden is graduating from junior high and Kyle is graduating from high school!!! Time truly flies when you have kids................even faster the older they get! Take care and enjoy EVERY moment!!! We will anxiously be awaiting the arrival/pics of Jasmine!

Allison, Congratulations and Best of Luck to both you and Jeff on your good news! JUST GET YOUR REST!!! Keep us posted! I appologize for taking so long to respond, we've been away and the summer just got away!!! By the way, a job well done with this baby shower blog! A great gift Kim will treasure!

Love to all,
Kathy

Don't Drown Yourself in the Baby's Bathwater

Today in an elevator, I saw a couple with a brand new baby in an infant carrier. Everyone on the elevator, of course, was riveted to this tiny sleeping creature. I was reminded of not only how tiny newborns actually are (and how quickly that changes), but also how deceptively fragile they seem in those early weeks. To be sure, newborns arrive in this life in a much ‘unfinished’ state.

We have pictures of both of our girls’ first real baths, an intimidating milestone for most new parents and babies. We’ve all seen those commercials with happy, giggling 6 month olds splashing in a tub full of suds. Well, newborns have not yet acquired a sense of this fine form of relaxation and the first bath (and quite a few to come) will seem more like torture. You can’t even give your baby her first real bath until her “cord falls off” – a phrase that itself ignites anxiety in many new parents. Add to that the fact that your baby perceives your attempts at bathing her as an appalling violation of her primal need to be warm and bundled.

Those pics of my girls’ first baths are not of contentment and fun; they are of bright red naked babies screaming their little heads off, all while dad endearingly and aggravatingly flashes the camera at them. I’m sure they thought we were going to leave them wet and naked to freeze to death (in our 72 degree house…).

The first bath is just one of many experiences along the road of finding your way as a parent (or at least looking like you’ve found it). Try to relax. You will actually look back on those hurdles with enduring sentimentality. Especially when she grows big enough to have that “dirty little kid” smell – something akin to a wet dog. Seriously.

Allison

Mom Lit

Forget Chick Lit – I’m all about Mom Lit now. I’d love to hear others’ recommendations for some light, fun reading (we have enough tears in my house when it’s time to stop bike riding at dusk), but here are a few that I’ve really enjoyed now I'm a mom.
Risa Green, Notes from the Underbelly
Risa Green, Tales from the Crib
Geraldine Brooks, Year of Wonders: A Novel of the Plague (OK this isn’t a light, fun read, but it’s a good one, especially from a mom’s perspective. HOWEVER! I don’t actually recommend this one when hormones are at their worst. I mean, you know people are going to die from the title, but it gets really, really sad – and then it gets better).

P.S. Don’t rush to get these right away, Kim! I didn’t actually start reading “real” books again until my kid was 2!
P.P.S. (not P.S.S., right?) It's Barb from Smith!

A Few Post Pregnancy Realities

Glad to see I'm not alone here any more... where are the rest of you lurkers? Don't be shy!

This evening, I was thinking about some of the little discussed facts about life immediately after baby is born. Feel free to add to my list or just make fun of my whining. :-)

1. During the last weeks of pregnancy you will likely long for the baby to be out -- and not just so you can meet her, but so you can have your body back. Reality: you don't really get your body back until well into baby's first year. And I'm not talking about your figure, here; I mean your BODY. That sweet baby will continue to be your little parasite long past delivery.
2. Everyone will lecture you to rest while you're staying at the hospital. Reality: it's mighty difficult to actually rest there. The beds are uncomfortable, you'll likely be on an adrenaline high, and someone will be constantly popping into your room. Your nurse will regularly take your blood pressure, check your stitches, ask you if you've pooped yet, and keep you in meds. The baby's nurse and doctor will each visit repeatedly checking the baby's temperature, monitoring her eating and diaper dirtying, bathing her, and (ugh) sticking needles in your poor babe's heels. Add to that the hospital staffers who will bring birth certificate/SSN paperwork, perform a hearing screen, and of course take the requisite hospital newborn photo in which most babies look more like a bug on a windshield... The point is, a good support system that will allow you to rest when you get home is MUCH more important.
   
3. You knew your ass was getting big when you were pregnant. Reality: you can't really appreciate just HOW big your ass got until after the baby's born and you lose that big round baby belly. Your ass grew proportionally to your belly, but it doesn't shrink nearly as quickly.

Well, ladies. That's all I've got for now. Kim is back from Spain and will be coming down to Austin in just a few weeks. Look for details about our virtual baby shower 'reveal' to be posted soon. Also, please send me a note if you are having any trouble or confusion at all posting to the site.

Allison

Wise Words From a Proud Mom & Nanny

As your mother, I know how lucky Jasmine is going to be and I’m sure your friends with kids would agree with me (you’ve been a modern Auntie Vi with their children). You’ve talked about baking cookies for the neighborhood children, babysitting for friends, including the children when inviting their parents to your home, loving your nieces and nephew many miles away. You are loaded with love to share and I couldn’t be more sure that you'll be a phenomenal mother.

Now, aside from that, to have children, Hillary is right - it takes a village! I thought I was familiar with the rearing of children since I had all these nieces and nephew, but I was mighty surprised. I was uptight whenever John sneezed, cried too long or spit up - that passes with time and more kids ;). I needed family and friends to keep me afloat. Keep us in the loop!

You’re very lucky to have the friends you have (and family at a distance) to help you through your first experience, and especially lucky to have Jason who’s taking his role as daddy seriously. I’m sure you’ll be getting many tips from mothers who have had more recent experience than me, but I do want you to know how proud and happy I am of you and can’t wait to see and love this little granddaughter of mine!!!

Daughters

Hello??? Anybody out there??? This blog is starting to get lonely; I hope someone will jump in and either comment on my monologue (click where it says 0 comments) or write your own new topic post (click New Post at the top of the page)....

Anywho... this evening I thought I'd share a few things about little girls. Kimmy is expecting a girl and as most of you know I have two of my own (Anna, 5 and Sophie, 2). Let's pretend that means I know lots about raising girls. Otherwise, just imagining their teenage years will send me screaming down the street.

A few observations about being a mom to a girl:

1) If your baby girl is a baldie, people will constantly mistake her for a him. It's amazing how irritating this can be, especially when she's decked out in a dress, flowers, bows, or some other obvious frills. When I was an infant (ok, until I was practically two), my mother actually took to using a dab of Caro syrup to glue a bow to my head.

2) Moms should worry less about their daughters' hair. It is their hair. Still, you won't be able to resist taking that strand that's hanging in her face and tucking it behind her ear. You'll try on all of the things you heard as a kid:

• "Would you please do something with that hair?!"
• "Don't be so tender-headed."
• And the usually saccharine, "I just want to be able to see your sweet face."

3) A little girl lets you see your husband in a whole new light – what an amazing woman she will be for his influence. And you'll see yourself in a new light, too -- having a little girl makes you feel somehow more womanly. You'll practically be a font of feminine wisdom from her eyes.

4) As a mother of a girl, you will find that every little thing your daughter does, your parents will inevitably compare to what you were like as a child – you’ll relive your childhood together with a completely new perspective.

5) Lastly, as a previously anti-girly stuff parent, I would just like to say that there’s nothing wrong with pink (assuming it’s a shade compatible with the wearer’s Color Me Beautiful season). Barbie never kept a girl from making it to Smith. You CAN get dirty while wearing a dress. Girls can be tough, assertive, and super smart while still loving to play Disney princess dress-up. :-)

Allison

Bambina de Espana

Kim is in Spain as I write this post. She and Jason will be there sight-seeing, relaxing and enjoying each other for the next few weeks. I'm sure I would have been to chicken to go so far away mid pregnancy even though the second trimester is supposed to be an ideal time for such wanderings.

When I think about it, though, this is so typical of Kim (and Jason, too). I know without talking to her that they were probably very thoughtful about this trip. They can't comprehend the precise impact, but they very maturely understand their lives are about to be turned upside down. What could be better than a special retreat before their sweet baby arrives (a demanding yet irrisistable interloper).

I admire their thoughtful approach to starting a family. So many of us just fly by the seat of our pants. With parents so dedicated to each other and the life they are creating, this baby couldn't ask for a better start. I know my little niece will be neat and can't wait to get to know her.

Pass the kleenex, please.

Allison

Sweet, Sweet Babies O Mine

Before becoming a parent, people will try to tell you how much you don't know and how a baby will not just change your life but end it -- so a completely new and different life can start. It's all a little hollow until you are experiencing it, though. But that's part of the mystery, wonder, and frustration of it all. Never will you take such a leap of faith as when you decide to bring a child into the world.

My daughter Sophie, barely two, still wants to breastfeed (ok, it's public knowledge now, mock away...). She has so many words now that I am constantly struck by the stunningly rapid stage of development she is in.

Like a little babe she still craves the comfort and sweetness of the breast. "Nurse!" she tells me. I oblige and a few seconds later, she points to my breast and tells me, "no working." It's the weekend and she's been on a binge -- must be dried up. We switch sides. She tries it out, then pauses to tell me approvingly, "more in there." Then a moment later, "I all done. I get down. My lovey on the floor. I go downstairs. See Anna." Oh geez, I'm practically nursing a first grader. Or at least someone destined to be a good filibusterer.

This scene is replayed regularly in our house. Yet it is so far from what I could have imagined not so many years ago. Now I look in on us and am amazed at what a different life it really is. Challenging, heart-wrenching, entertaining, profoundly fortunate.

Allison

Welcome!

Hello, friends and family. As you probably already know, Kim Wilson and her hubby Jason Mongue are expecting their first baby -- a girl due on 10/26/07. As Auntie Allison, I really wanted to do something for them in lieu of a shower (we live in Texas and they live in CA). So, the idea for this blog materialized.

This will serve as a kind of "virtual" shower. Kim's friends and relatives can gather here and coverse about pregnancy, parenthood and the mom-to-be. Kim is planning to visit Texas at the end of August. We will have a mini party with her family when she is here and present the contents of this blog in book-form as a keepsake. We'll also have the usual gifts for her to unwrap. I plan to also provide follow-up on this blog, so you can all read about and see pictures of our little surprise virtual shower. If you would like to attend in person, you are welcome to do that as well.

So, what kind of content should go here? Below are some suggestions to get you started, but really anything is ok assuming it's in good humor and honors the intent of the blog. Just like a "real" shower, the goal is to make the mom-to-be feel special and to share our collective wisdom with her.

Some possible topics:

• Gems of advice on parenting, marriage and not losing yourself
• Stories about new parenthood, pregnancy or birth (no scary birth stories, though, please!)
• Things you know about Kim and/or Jason that should play out interestingly as they embark on parenthood
• Some good ol' praise for how great you know they're gonna be
• If you're a parent, what you like best and least about it
• What you wish you knew before having kids
• Things you needed to hear when you were pregnant or a new parent
• Things people told you, that you didn't believe/understand that turned out to be gospel

I'm sure this list of suggestions is far from exhaustive... can't wait to see what everyone has to say.

Happy blogging!!!

Allison