Be There! Really There in Every Little Moment.

Hi Guys!

I am so thrilled for you. I really, honestly believe that becoming a parent is the most important thing that I have done with my life. It is amazing how so many very critical opinions and priorities in your universe can shift so quickly.

So, back to being there. . .

I guess it seems to me that we (society, thirty-somethings, Duel-Income-No-Kids folks) have a tendency to focus on the next step, our next milestone, keeping all the very important life goals in place.

Well, with these little babies it is so easy to wish away every simple daily enjoyment, moment, observance waiting for the next stage. . .infancy is so fleeting. . .okay it will feel like eternity at 3 a.m. with a crying baby. . .but it is so fast. So, hold your little girl as much as you want. Watch her sleep for hours. Rock her, cuddle her, snuggle her, nap with her. It is gone in a flash. She will eventually sleep through the night, roll over, crawl, get a tooth, babble, talk. . .don't push it, enjoy the unfolding and learning of this new little creature.

You as the parent will know when she needs to cry a little longer, or move from two to one naps, or whether she really is teething this time. I know it seems impossible right now, but you will know, or you'll at least know when to ask for help & advice from those who have gone before you.

Now, the practical advice:

1. Breastfeeding is really hard to get going! Stick with it if you can, it is amazing and super convenient. Find a support group, with nurses if possible. Ask your nurse in recovery about "soothies" pads, and lansinoh makes the best breast pads if you leak. Buy some.

2. Talk and share with those around you. Parents with kids older than you have so many ideas and techniques that really help. I find those with kids one to two years older have the most relevant ideas and most accurate memories of what works.

3. Sleep whenever you can. Really, sleep. I think sleep deprivation is the hardest part. I have a colleague who made a deal with his wife that nothing they say to each other between the hours of midnight and six a.m. can be used against them. That is really, really good idea!

4. Your house will not stay dirty forever. A child will only sleep on another human being for a short period of time. A baby sleeping on your chest is one of life's most satisfying feelings. I'm getting teary just writing about it.

5. Don't obsess about your delivery. Educate yourself. Surround yourself with the best doctors and nurses, and know that the most important thing is going home with a healthy baby, not having someones idea of the perfect birth. It is one of the many lessons you learn in how little control you have on the minutiae in this next phase of your life. The cool thing is, that relaxing on the control front, gives you so much freedom to enjoy the little surprises that come along.

6. Accept all and any offers of help. Let someone else do your laundry, or change your sheets, or clean your bathroom, or make you dinner. Really. If they offer, say yes. People will come over, you will feel the need to entertain them. Don't. Let them wait on you. Really. Assuage your guilt by reminding yourself that they really want to see your baby girl, not you. Reality check, no one actually wants to see you for at least the next twelve months. They just tolerate you, so they can hold the baby. Sad, but really!

Dave and I are so happy for you. We love you, and wish you the best of luck as you start this amazing journey. Welcome to the club. The love you have for your child is a selfless, pure, achingly, sweet thing. You just don't get it, until you get one of your own.

Hugs.

Jocelyn